“Despite my love, they accuse me; but as for me, I pray for them.”

Psalm 109:3 is one of those verses in the psalms that sounds good on paper but is difficult to enact. Loving someone can hurt sometimes. I imagine many of you have felt the sting of giving love only to receive contempt, indifference, thanklessness, or any other noun you want to insert. Praying for people that respond with vitriol or gaslighting? Oof. Hard. I want to respond more like the words later in Psalm 109, “When he is judged, let him be found guilty,” or “Let his days be few, and let another take his office.”

Yeah, not the right way to live or to be.

The truth is, praying for those who hurt us is difficult. Especially when we feel like we have loved them deeply. But we also only have our perspective. Perhaps our love wasn’t that deep to begin with—we may have thought that we were always loving but in reality were marginally present, only offering love when we ‘found the time’ to be around.

So, the shoe can fit on either foot.

I hope that people will pray for me when I hurt them. Because I will. I am a broken and sinful child of God; I will make mistakes. The same can be said for those whom I love. Our responses to one another are what make the difference. That difference being our understanding of grace. When someone comes to me and lists my faults, or my sins against them, do I reply with statements of equal or greater blame? Or do I take their statements, think about them, and then accept the truth within and discard the hurt? Because most times, people respond with hurtful words due to their own hurt and not from a place of evil.

People say the harshest things in moments of pain.

I hope I can pray for those who hurt me. I hope they will pray for me. I hope you will be among them. My goal is never to hurt anyone, to take on the mantra of ‘do no harm’ and spread the joy and love of Jesus Christ. I fail. I succeed. I’m all over the map. But so are they. So, today, give a little grace to those who hurt you and see what happens. Tell the truth in love. You are not responsible for their reply. But you are responsible in your faith to pray for them, regardless.

God wants us to love one another. It doesn’t always mean we will be in relationship, but it ALWAYS means that we will love. Through fractures, in disagreements, in hurt, we pray. It is our duty and calling to be prayerful people, not harmful ones.

As God guides us to love one another, let prayer be the lantern to our feet and a light to our path of forgiveness and love.

Faithfully,

Fr. Sean+