“Into your hands I commend my spirit.”

I have anxiety. Notice that I do not say ‘I struggle with’ or ‘I am afflicted by’. I have anxiety; it is a common yet wide-ranging condition. Some people have crippling anxiety, the world crashes down on their chest and mind, making it nearly impossible to breathe or think. Others, they have mild to ‘healthy’ anxiety, the kind that allows for high performance in tense situations or, in the case of the former, a brief rapidity of heartbeat and breathing followed quickly by calm. There are many stops between these two examples, and your mileage will vary.

My anxiety is somewhere nearer to the first example than the second, unfortunately. Yet I do not allow it to define me. Through medication, breathing techniques, and prayer, I can manage most days without incident. This has taken years to accomplish, however. I still have moments when driving to a hospital is the final step in aiding me back to calm. I usually sit quietly in the chapel there, knowing I am in two spaces of health and safety; the first is God’s sacred space, the second is the world’s healing place. It makes sense for me.

Psalm 31 is a call from David while he is experiencing deep anxiety and distress. Through its many lines, any reader may find themselves nodding along or crying out alongside him in agreement. If you have a form of anxiety that causes distress, psalm 31 is for you. (If not, Psalm 31 is still for you, but perhaps through a different lens). The first half of the third verse often becomes my mantra during an attack: “Be my strong rock, a castle to keep me safe; for you are my crag and my stronghold”. These words are a source of comfort and plea wrapped into one, for me; they help me to remember that not only is God my home, but also my compass in this world. My true North, so to speak.

Jesus was also a fan of…well…all scriptures really, especially Psalm 31. In fact, Jesus’ last words were from it. “Into your hands I commit (commend) my spirit.” In his final breath, with the crushing weight of the cross bearing his body to suffocation, Jesus chooses to disallow anxiety or distress to own him. Instead, he quotes scripture as a prayer, a call to God in trust that God will answer and deliver him from his plight. It is an awesome and powerful moment of faith from son to father, from faithful to their lord, from a dying man’s last words to the one he will rejoin.

I hope my final words are in faith, not fear.

I also hope that you may find solace in the words of Psalm 31 whenever you are distressed, worried, anxious, or during any number of difficult moments in your life. May you remember, if you did not already know, that Psalm 31 can speak the words your heart pounds out—that reciting them might just be the gate through which escape from the descriptors above exists. If they were enough for Jesus, they will be enough for you. As they are for me.

Faithfully,

Fr. Sean+