“You tyrant, why do you boast of wickedness against the godly all day long?”

Psalm 52 comes in hot and David is not happy. For the full story, please read 1 Samuel 21-22. However, here’s the quick version. God has taken power from Saul and given it to David; Saul is now trying to kill David. While on the run from Saul, David stops in a town called Nob, gets help from the priest Ahimelek (he receives consecrated bread and the sword of Goliath) and then moves on to Gath. Well, Doeg, the Chief Shepherd of Saul, happened to witness all of this. He tells Saul, Saul calls Ahimelek and 85 of his priests, has a short talk with them and then orders Doeg to kill them all. Doeg then goes and lays waste to the entire town of Nob.

David is furious about the murder of innocents; he rails against Doeg’s (and Saul’s) actions to God while also placing his trust in the Lord. He doesn’t go out on his own, seeking Saul to kill him and his minions, he relies on God’s mercy instead of his own newly given (and ordained) power. We all know David has a sordid past. Yet he returns to the Lord repeatedly; he asks for forgiveness and seeks to do better. That’s the kind of man I hope to be—one that can make mistakes and own them, turn from them, and live deeper into relationship with God.

But to be clear: I speak in outrage to God about what happens in this world.

I rage against the unjust treatment of my neighbor; I rant about the unfairness of evil people doing evil things to the good. I wish I could say that ‘My soul in silence waits’ but in truth, my soul is in turmoil in these times of trouble. And that’s on me. I hope to become better at praying for grace instead of being angry at the world. It’s hard. And, if like me, you experience the same thoughts? I hope for grace to be poured over you, too.

Love is the only way to truly defeat evil. Through the love of God, we eradicate the evil in ourselves, making it a little less powerful in this world. Instead of living in the opening line of Psalm 52, I hope to find myself praying the closing one: “I will give you thanks for what you have done and declare the goodness of your Name in the presence of the godly.” Inciting rage in others is not God’s way. There is a thin line separating passion from hate. May we learn to pray our frustrations first, but then through grace be able to move to a place that seeks God’s peace that passes our understanding.

That peace we all long so much for right now.

Faithfully,

Fr. Sean+