In multiple settings, relationships drive the success of the group. If the group doesn’t know one another, then wariness strikes and efficiency plummets. People are apprehensive about engaging in anything when they’re uncomfortable. This is not always the case, but most often it is true.
For instance, when I opened up a roster for a new team back in January, people slowly trickled in and we filled our twelve spots. Yet, over the course of the next couple of months, we roster-progged (changed members) every two weeks it seemed. Luckily, we were able to retain seven of the original twelve, but it was difficult. We also couldn’t win at anything it seemed. We went months without a victory—and I noticed we were only showing up on our scheduled days and then not talking in between—or not hanging out at all.
Slowly but surely, we started playing together in different settings, not just the one that brought us together. We sort of retreated into the ‘fun’ parts of why we played the game rather than focused on the serious ones. Over eight months later, this team is undeniably one of the best groups around. People who substitute in for us (when someone can’t make it) are often taken aback by our congeniality, our bond, and our ethic. “I’ve never experienced anything like this,” they say.
It's because we took the time outside of our core moments together to get to know one another. We took time to see each other as we were, rather than rely on blind trust to ‘get a job done’. Forgiveness for mess-ups became a mantra. Personal lives were brought into our online chats. Prayers were offered (and still are) for moments of doubt, anxiety and pain. We know what each other’s hobbies are, what each of us does for a living, and we know that we can count on one another when we’re facing something difficult. Because we came together outside of our regular meetings, we were able to become more than a team.
Now, we’re a family.
This church also practices in the same way. Many of you meet for lunch or dinner around town. I see y’all at concerts together, lunches together, and hear about phone calls or texts during the week that really impacted your lives. You’ve become a team, a community, and a group by which others are amazed.
The Church retreat in October is another way in which we can continue to solidify our relationships, continue to build the familial aspect of our culture, and continue to become ‘more’ to one another. I hope you consider the effect this will render by virtue of simply being present. Come. Spend time with your neighbor, with the person you worship with, and get to know them on a deeper level. You’ll be surprised what happens when those relationships build—the ministry we all love so dearly will thrive, and the vitality of this place will be top-tier.
We aren’t all the same in the world, but we’re all the same in Christ. If we can spend some time together outside the Church, we become more willing to see each other for who we are and accept our differences and laud our similarities. Then, we can continue to be that team that strikes out and does this holy work of changing the world.
Faithfully,
Fr. Sean+